Disease
by PaleAndromache
Summary: Fandral may have contracted some horrific, strange human disease in Midgard... or he may be overreacting and completely oblivious.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Fandral may have contracted some horrific, strange human disease in Midgard... or he might be overreacting and oblivious.

* * *

><p><span>Disease<span>

Midgard had done something to Fandral, though he wasn't quite sure what as of yet.

Sitting in the feast hall at a table with his friends he realized that, once again, something was missing. It was a feeling that had been haunting him since his return from the mortal realm and was steadily growing worse with each day.

The blond asgardian didn't know what was happening to him, and he didn't know how to fix what ever the strange malady was.

Clearly he had contracted some strange, primitive, human illness. He hoped it wasn't deadly… or disfiguring.

And wasn't it just his luck that he was ill and that everyone else was perfectly fine?

…Alright so Thor was mourning and moping, and Sif was hovering with worry, and Hogun was brooding (thought that was nothing new), and no one really knew what had happened to Loki… but still! No one knew what was wrong with him; clearly this should be cause for concern.

What if this ailment turned out to be contagious?

The symptoms were curious and like nothing else he had ever encountered. His hands twitched as though grasping for something that was not there, he had an empty feeling in his chest and a pit in his stomach, and all in all he hungered for… something.

Neither food nor drink could sate his hunger; he had tried both in spades. And so he could only conclude that he was wasting away from a debilitating, human disease.

Catching the eye of a pretty, blond maiden a few seats down from him Fandral resigned himself to make the best of his numbered days. After all if food and drink did not quench this thirst of his that Midgard had left him with, perhaps wenching would do…

What in the name of Valhalla had Midgard _done_ to him!

A few moments into speaking with the wench and he'd lost all interest. Rather than be pleased with her easy-going demeanor or preen at her flattery he'd found her dull and simpering.

And where her looks had seemed fetching before now her golden hair and sun-bronzed skin seemed common place.

He wanted a conversation with some bite in it, a maid who had a bit of fire to challenge him with, not one who merely fawned over his every action. As for her looks… of late his dreams had been filled with hair the rich, dark brown of good soil and soft skin the milk-pale color of the moon…

At this point he might as well go join Thor. The young thunder god was off sulking somewhere pining for Midgard and, as Fandral was dieing from some horrific disease of theirs, the two could benefit from being miserable together.

Hopefully this ailment didn't manifest in pockmarks or scars, he had half a mind to woo Thor's woman's pretty little friend when the Bifrost was repaired.

So long as he didn't die from this human plague first.

* * *

><p>Poor Fandral, he has no idea what's going on and is completely overreacting... its funny how men in Asgard are so similar to men on Earth. This is something that popped in my head today and I had to write out.<p>

I suppose I should officially announce my allegiance to Darcy/Fandral.

Much Love.


	2. Consultation

So I was concerned that I actually suck at this and I figured I was just going to give it a shot then not try again, but I got some lovely and encouraging feedback and decided to continue.

Thanks for all the love!

Disclaimer: I own nothing. 

Disease: Consultation

"I think I may be dieing."

Thor jerked out of whatever mortal-centered daydream he had been blissfully caught up in at his friend's morbid, and very random, statement, and almost toppled over the ledge of the balcony. Fandral was oblivious to this and watched his prince with bright, worried eyes.

A quick glance over revealed no obvious injury or ailment; his coloring was fine, all limbs were attached, his breathing was regular, and there was no blood to be seen. (Even his hair looked well styled.)

"By what cause, my friend, and how did you come about this conclusion?" Thor asked after a moment of shocked silence.

Fandral began pacing the length of the balcony, pivoted at one end, and then walked back. Pivot, stride, pivot, stride, so on and so forth.

The thunder god noted that any possible injury was clearly not affecting his gait.

"I… do not know. But something is certainly wrong with me and has been since our return to Asgard."

Thor's brow furrowed. Other than missing his Jane he had felt no ill effects of being on Midgard, but perhaps he had been shielded by being in a mortal form.

What if there was some unknown disease in the mortal world that only affected Asgardians? What if by coming to rescue him Fandral had doomed himself?

Fandral had been a dear friend for many centuries and Thor would do anything to help him in his hour of need.

"Have you seen the healers?" he asked, Thor himself may have avoided the healers' chambers as if they were Helheim, but he had no trouble encouraging others to seek their arts.

"… I had been hoping to avoid the place…" Fandral muttered, running a hand through his hair restlessly.

"I cannot blame you for that sentiment." The thunder god agreed dryly. Still he worried, something about Fandral had been different lately, but Thor, so caught up in rebuilding the Bifrost and thinking on his Jane, had been remiss to the needs of his friends.

"But we must discover the cause of your illness and a cure for it." The prince of Asgard continued.

The shorter blond nodded in agreement. "Could we perhaps pursue this information with as much subtly as possible? It is not an affair I would wish to make common knowledge."

"Of course, my friend, this illness of yours will remain between whomever you deem trustworthy."

… well there was a loaded statement. 

Trustworthy turned out to be Hogun, Volstagg, and the Lady Sif. He was quite sure if he had left any of the three out he would be dead before the disease could kill him off anyway. So they had gathered in one of their favorite chambers, perched about on different lounges and chairs.

As he explained his symptoms Hogun and Volstagg looked perplexed and horrified respectively (though for the latter it mostly concerned the lack of interest in food and drink.)

The reaction of the Lady Sif was most strange however. Arching a delicate brow the warrior maiden looked at him as though he had grown a second head.

(For a brief and horrible moment Fandral thought maybe a physical manifestation of his illness had occurred and ruined his visage, but quickly realized his other friends would have said something. Tact was not, after all, their specialty.)

"I think you're and idiot and a man, though at the moment those seem to be synonymous." She finally said bluntly. (Lack of tact in Asgard was apparently not gender specific.)

"Go see the healers, why the lot of you never do boggles the mind, and when they say there is nothing wrong with you take their word for it. Then continue as you have until the Bifrost in mended."

Fandral listened with rapt attention, as did the other men. Sif was no great healer nor master of medicine yet she seemed to know precisely what was happening to him. Where had this knowledge come from?

"And if there is no cure and it continues?"

"You are not dieing. Comfort yourself with that, though there is no cure for the stupidity that seems to be running rampant." Casting her glance at the others she saw they were just as dumbfounded.

Sif sighed deeply, this is what she got for having almost exclusively male friends. She stood from the lounge where she had been sitting and strode out of the room, she would call on Frejya, and maybe female company would dull the headache she could feel approaching.

Men, ugg. 

Fandral, Hogun, Volstagg, and Thor watched Sif storm out of the room.

"I'm afraid I'm quite lost. If she knew what ailed me why did she not say so?" Fandral asked.

Thor shrugged, blue eyes large and confused in the face of (to his understanding) uncalled for female anger.

Volstagg's brow furrowed briefly, then, as in all other times of confusion, he went back to the tray of food before him.

And Hogun met Fandral's gaze evenly, "Women." The others nodded as though this was answer enough.

* * *

><p><span>AN: Fandral is told out right he's not dieing. Thor, Hogun, and Volstagg aren't being much help. Don't blame poor Fandral he's never been in love before or infatuated to a point were he doesn't even notice other women. Its really throwing him off.

Thor doesn't get it because Fandral is describing it as an illness and he isn't thinking about it as anything but a disease, had Fandral just listed his symptoms Thor would've known from the start, seeing as he's suffering from them himself.

I'm not too sure how to write Hogun or Volstagg yet, so they're a bit in the background for now. And I didn't mean to make Sif overly angry, but I feel like being surrounded by men who are completely blind to their own feelings would be…. frustrating, to say the least. She's totally going to bitch about their idiocy to Frejya, Norse goddess of love.

While this is a Darcy/Fandral story, Darcy won't be around for another few chapters. Honestly this is my attempt to do the opposite of the 'this is how Jane is fixing the wormhole and here's Darcy helping' stories (which I love because you get more Darcy) but I wanted to try and get a little insight into what was happening in the everyday life of Asgard post Earth visit.


	3. Epiphany and Girl Time

Sorry for the delay!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Epiphany and Girl Time

After Sif had left the men lingered in the room for sometime, in their usual manner Hogun had brooded and Volstagg ate, however Thor was oddly contemplative and Fandral had begun pacing nervously again.

They discussed different ideas and possibilities and wondered at their female friend's mysterious (almost innate) knowledge.

"Perhaps it is some type of Earth parasite?" Hogun suggested, flipping through the pages of a text concerning human ailments.

"From where? We were only there for a short period of time, most of which was spent being thrashed by the Destroyer. I certainly found no time to eat or drank." Fandral grimaced at the memory.

"And it certainly wouldn't explain his impotency." Thor chimed in.

"Don't use that vile word!" Fandral looked horrified at the thought. "It was just that the maid in question didn't appeal to me…"

Suddenly the heir to the throne of Asgard looked up with a jolt, a large grin lighting his features. Thor's mind flitted rapidly through Fandral's time on Earth, especially his interactions.

"You said the lady's complacency and lack of fire caused you to loose interest?" Thor asked cautiously.

"Should we not be analyzing how he came to be infected?" Volstagg interrupted as he rose from his own text to pour another glass of wine. "If it is contagious, or lies latent for sometime any of us may suffer from the same ailment."

However Thor began laughing thunderously, "Sif was right my friend you are not dying, nor even ill. In fact I completely understand and sympathize."

"I'm not? You do?" Fandral looked at Thor with hopeful and confused eyes.

"Of course you-"

The door the chamber suddenly opened and a servant strode in briskly.

"The All Father demands your immediate presence my Lord." He told the thunder god And, fearing bad news from Midgard, Thor left with haste after a quick nod to his friends.

"Wait!" Fandral shouted, running to the door only to catch sight of a red cloak as it disappeared around a corner.

Turning back to his closest friends he groaned despondently, "I suddenly feel as though the fates are conspiring against me."

"Worry not, if Thor was able to solve this riddle, the three of us shall unravel its answer in no time." Volstagg thumped his friend's back in condolence, and then he pulled the blond warrior back to the piles of books. 

Sif took another gulp of wine.

"An illness?" Frejya finally managed to wheeze out as she bodily pulled herself back into the chair she had fallen out of some time ago. The last ten minutes had been spent on the floor breathless with laughter and unable to articulate words.

Idunn was in little better condition, as she had been drinking at the time of Sif's explanation and was now coughing up from her lungs the wine she had inhaled.

Eir and Brunnhilde sat smirking and chuckling, though the former was also gently striking Idunn on the back to help with her coughs.

"I mean I knew they didn't really listen to anything I had to say about emotions, but surely over the centuries something stuck in their subconscious minds?"

Brunnhilde, looking in better humor than Sif had ever seen her, grinned, "There you go again Frejya, giving men credit where none is due. I assure you, all that that group of men has thought of in their lives are food, drunk, fighting, and wenching. I'm sure love was never deeply philosophized on."

"But Fandral always seemed to go on about love so," Idunn croaked between coughs.

"He went on about lust that he mistook as love, I do believe he is rather smitten this time, and from what Sif said it is not merely a physical attachment, he seems most enamored with her personality." Frejya had a small secretive smile on her lips; she did so love it when men got what was coming to them.

"And the maid in question?" Eir asked, for as gifted as she was in battle, the sweetness of Eir's demeanor was always slightly shocking. The goddess of compassion and medicine looked truly concerned for Fandral's emotional well being.

"We shall see, with the Bifrost destroyed my ability to look into the hearts of those in the other realms has been limited." Frejya admitted.

"I'm sure it will be mended again soon," Sif spoke up, "Thor has been working tirelessly with the All Father to repair it." If she had any personal feelings about this devotion, she did not make them known.

But her thoughts shifted to the young human maiden whom she had briefly met on Midgard who had so captured Fandral's attention. She was certainly unlike the Asgardian women he usually pursued, given that she had a thought in her head other than the blonde's good qualities. The situation could prove to be vastly entertaining.

"I wonder if any of them have figured it out yet or if they're still searching for a _cure_" Brunnhilde mused out loud.

This sent the entire party into another fit of laughter. 

**A/N** Thor figured it out! Unfortunately for Fandral the Norse fates, also known at the Norns are, in fact, female and decided to pull Thor away before he could share his epiphany. He's just getting slammed from all sides isn't he?

I figured I would throw in the girls night, I really only know personalities and backgrounds from mythology so I'm sorry if they are not comic-canon accurate. Frejya is the goddess of love, Eir is a valkyrie and the goddess of medicine, Brunnhilde (is in the comics) and in mythology is a valkyrie so I just made her a strong willed woman type, Idunn is the keeper of the golden apples that keep the Aesir immortal, and I wasn't sure what to do with Sif, to be honest I don't want to make Sif look like she's pining.

Thank you for all the review, especially the constructive ones, I'm kind of doing this as an experiment, so its nice to get feed back that makes me better (like my spelling, ugggg, can anyone tell how bad I am with homophones?) Also, because this was mentioned, like I said before I'm actually rather knowledgeable about the mythological basis for the Thor storyline, but the comics themselves… not so much (not at all really) so bare with me, this is all going to be myth and movie based.

Next time we'll get to see how Darcy it doing!

Much love!


End file.
